Why does one has problems in RELATIONSHIPS? Does one ever ask this question to himself or to anyone .Is it a problem with you or with everyone, the sufferer always thinks that he is the only person who has a problem.
What is that thing that solves every problem in every relationship like the elixir of life .Does there exist a SOLUTION to it? like a solved puzzle or an algorithm in a software so that can be picked up by any person ?.
Does this get solved by knowing the Psychology of a person. Is it necessary to know the psychology of every person?is it possible to know the psychology of every person? is it practical?is your psychology different from others psychology?.
Man has grown immensely and has built a vast civilization and has conquered virtually everything but has he conquered his psychology?is he the same person inwardly when the civilized society started and now? or is he changed?
Does one ask this question?Does this thought bring a change in ones life?Is there an answer to this?Did nature create this problem ?or did man create this problem?
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A relationship should flower when you see the flowering of it one should be ready for fading away of it , not in all relationships is the bond eternal. Psychology of a person is not different from others , he/she may be from different cultures,different languages having varied tastes and likes but inside he/she is the same . A person is same from inside with his own inhibitions and turmoil who needs the liking and the support of others.
Here there are three kind of people .
- One who is seeking to relate .
- One who is happy with what he has.
- One who is always unhappy with what he got and wants to seek elsewhere.
If one drills in detail , all the three kinds are not successful in relationship.
- One who is seeking finds it difficult to get some one who is ready to relate with him that is his turmoil.
- One who is happy with what he/she got always has the doubt whether he/she is really happy or he/she is just feeling that way, there does not seems to be a measure for that.
- One who is always unhappy with what he got is always not content with what he/she is getting but always want to seek elsewhere
By careful consideration although there might be many classification if one starts analyzing this and the amazing thing is that a person goes through all these three phases in his life. So a person is a seeker , giver and shunner also. So the beauty of a relationship would be intact if one can balance this. But the question is how he does this? to whom he/she should seek, give and shun.
So a person starts thinking which he thinks would solve his problems ,but the person is not thinking when he/she should, and thinking when he/she should not .This thinking process makes one analyze and break down them into facts , the more you analyze the more facts you get.But are these facts going to solve problems ?Are these facts are like guided companions?.Does these facts help us in reaching conclusions and if they help us in reaching conclusions, are all these facts that we have garnered are correct in the first instance. what if they are wrong?. If one takes the argument that all these facts are right then all his problems should be solved, then for a person guided by facts should be having the best relationships and everyone does want to go by facts , but still the problem exists.
So is not analyzing things aggravating the problem and not solving the problem ?.
Some people go by heart and do what their heart does, a feeling, they relate to only those who they have their feeling to and they feel that this is the best thing, is it?. So how is this feeling arised? A feeling is arised when one sees a beautiful thing ,hears a good music and for anything that touches you. A feeling is a mere sensory response of the stimuli and this can occur at any time or with any one? but is this feeling going to last eternally , no it isn't then what is that which is giving continuity to this feeling is the thinking mind , so a person who wants to feel to relate is also going into thinking domain. He/she wants this feeling to be always there with him but it is not, which confuses him. So this also aggravates the problem.
So there is a thin red line between thinking and feeling .Both of these things are there in a single person only, nature has given these things to us for a purpose, so when one understands the reason behind the rationale one starts understanding where to use these.But still the problem in the relationships exist. So how to remove it.
In both cases a person is building an image about what he/she wants and what he/she should be . This also kindered by the environment , which may be your parents, friends etc or maybe from any medium. This is there is ones mind and one is having a constant battle with it through thinking or feeling . The question is that does one see this conditioning , no he/she is only seeing the repercussions of it. This affects his relationships and the things that he is relating to.
What is needed in a relationship is action, and this action has to come about. The action can be a subtle touch, or a gentle word or may be a special gift. How does this action come which is complete? which is not maligned by anything.
Actually the problem is can one see a wholesome action in a relationship?.It is not possible even after knowing a person from many years one does not understand completely what the other person wants. So the desire of knowing about a person fully is not possible.So how does the action come about. If this action is static a person is doing the same things to other, eventually other may get bored or start disliking it, but if an action is always dynamic you are always doing some new thing and trying to be always smart even this thing is not liked by someone seeking security. So how do you balance static/dynamic patterns is the magic of relationship going to be.
How does one get this right action. Did anyone observed when a right action happened, like something touching you. Did anyone observe what goes into it? a fresh thought or a fresh feeling .Can anyone observe anything without going into intellectual dissection. Does you mind give a solution for a lingering question in your mind?.
This is needed because YOU ARE NOT SPECIAL but others MAKE YOU FEEL SPECIAL.
P.S:This article will be continued keep watching this space.
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